THAT TIME OF YEAR

It’s the final hours of the Labour Day weekend… Autumn is on the horizon. I woke up this morning, cocooned in my quilt, protecting myself from the AM chill. It’s amazing how quickly fall is ushered upon us, all the other seasons timidly seep into being, but fall attacks with a great vengeance. Over night trees are literally,turning over a new leaf.

I welcome Fall with a mixed bag of emotions. I love the crispness in the air, the canopy of crimson and golden foliage, and the crunch of fallen leaves. How can anyone not love the bright pigmented leaves on the trees, after all we are living in a country famous for our fall foliage. Aside from this spectacle of colour, what I love most about autumn is the impending fall season’s new prime time line-up. I adore the unveiling of all the new TV shows and of course, the return of my old favorites. (Let’s have a moment of silence for the cancelled comedy, Arrested Development… heavy hearted, Sigh.) But I digress, I will blog about my addiction at a later date, let’s get back to the subject at hand: my mixed bag of emotions.

Fall not only brings me joy, but it also brings me heartache... for I am a Football Widow. That’s right folks, this loving marriage, comes to a screeching halt with the return of Football season. No more Sunday promenades through sun drenched streets, holding hands, looking lovingly into each other’s eyes. No more picnicking under a grand oak tree, with him reciting Byron and Keats. (The preceding events may be slightly exaggerated; anyhow, a bit of hyperbole can’t hurt to prove a point) It’s all been replaced with excursion through electronic hallways, with him looking lovingly into a big screen TV and dining under the dimly lit roof of a sports bar, with him reciting sports stats and team chants.

Who’s number 1? Who cares?

In addition to being snubbed for a stupid game, I have to endure sports chat, pro-line betting, fantasy football leagues and worst of all, football games on the X-Box. His passion for anything football related is quite overwhelming, but his affection doesn’t stop with Pro-football, it also heats up for college ball as well.

I hate “Da Bears” and I hate the “Canes”. They have hijacked my husband.

I AM NOT A STUPID WOMAN, I JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND FOOTBALL. I don’t understand the rules and I don’t understand the excitement over the game. YES, It’s just a game! On many occasion I have been coached on the conduct of the sport. I have even read 'Football for Dummies'. But somehow, all of the reading and lectures gets lost in translation. This is what I hear: blah, blah, boring, blah. This is what I read: @(*$)@#%! @#& @(&^#(*$.

What’s the point of watching a bunch of beefy men chasing after an oblong ball and then piling on top of each other? “Oh Hot!”, you say? What’s hot about spitting, black patches under the eyes (women spend loads of cash to avoid this problem) and football tights? You can’t even see if the players are good-looking, they are all hidden behind such concealing helmets.

The only good thing about football is the Super Bowl. Two things I love about Super Bowl: the million dollar commercials that air (click here to see the best commercials ever!) and the end of football season.

But for now I must endure a full season of football. I have to suppress the feelings of loneliness and the sense of betrayal. I need to fight back the tears that comes with football widowhood. I will present my bravest face to the world.

The NFL season kicks off on Thursday, September 7. (Tear)