FOR M&A

“Laughter is the shock absorber that eases the blows of life.”

GET MY VISA, STAT!

The cold and bitterness of winter has brought the need for crucial retail therapy. It is not enough that I window-shop and throw covetous glances at store displays. I MUST PURCHASE.

I am not in need of anything in particular. I just want to wrap the old me with new nonessentials. I want to be asked, "Would you like the receipt in the bag?" I want to power walk around the mall with bundles dangling from my arms.

"My moniker is Gypsy In My Soul, and I am a Shopaholic."

ALPHA FEMALE, ME?

It's a girl thing.

I use to love taking all those silly questionnaires in YM, Cosmo and Seventeen magazines.

Now I can do it online when I'm bored at work. Here's my result from two.

Me?

You Are an Alpha Female

Powerful, confident, and successful - you are definitely a dominant force. You control social and dating situations. It's clear that you're always in charge.

Your Power Color Is Gold

You're dependable and hard working. You never miss a deadline - and you're never late. You have a clear sense of right and wrong. You're very detail oriented. You get frustrated when your friends are sloppy - or when they don't follow through. You're on top of things, and you wish that everyone else was!

Are You an Alpha Female?

What's Your Power Color?

BRING BACK SPRING

Two weeks is just about all I can stand of winter. I want the warmer weather back!

What happened to global warming?

What a tease. Flirting with us the way it did in December, showing us all the forbidden pleasures it possessed, letting us think we had a chance with it's warm wintery goodness and then snatching it away from us... leaving us all with fridgid blue balls... er, umm... that is if we had any.

In any case, here are some spring flowers to help you bring a little spring your way. I took these at the Brooklyn Botanic Gardens, last May.

THEY'RE NOT HICKIES

For the past week, I live with these hateful hives on my neck. I attempt to conceal them with scarves and turtlenecks, but they peek out from behind their veil to brazenly mock me.

Coworkers are starting to wonder and comment on my kerchief du jour. They think I'm hiding love-bites. (sigh) Alas, the pinkness on my neck bears a less scandalous tale.

To be honest, I'm not sure how the hives came to be. I have my theories, but no concrete evidence.

Theory #1 - Strawberry smoothies.
In David’s and my quest to eat healthier, he has been making smoothies for us in the mornings. Lately, (by request) there's a heavier dose of strawberries in mine. YUMMM... I mean... Hmmm?

Theory #2 - Vitamin E Facial Moisturizer, with SPF 15.
In my quest for softer and wrinkle free skin. I've started using a new moisturizer on my face... I've been using it for weeks... but have recently lathered its silky goodness on my neck. After all, no one wants to own a crepe-paper neck. EWWW... I mean... Hmmm?

Theory #3 - Sawdust, paint fumes and a slew of toxins.
Set building is in full gear to make a Monday shooting deadline at work. All toxins confined inside the building, as old man winter makes it impossible to open doors for air circulation. ECCKK... I mean... Hmmm?

Theory #4 - The Ravage of Winter.
The temperature drops and snow nestles permanently on the ground. Cold air on skin… BRRR... I mean... Hmmm?

Theory #5 - Stress, Lack of Sleep.
Can't get to sleep. Fear of Atcra strike shutting down the industry. Plagued with coworker nightmares.... or nightmarish coworkers... or both. UGH... I mean... Hmmm?

Any one, or a combination of these theories might be the culprit.

Whatever is making me breakout is keeping me from a good night's rest, a decent ensemble and a regular blogging schedule! Hmmm!

Hmmm, indeed!

WOKEN BY GUILT

I am plagued with kissing dreams.

NOT the wonderful salacious dreams about participating in a game of tonsil hockey with Paul Walker or Max Greenfield. (The kind of dreams where, should you awake before the fantasy finishes, you pray for the Sandman to transport you back to dreamland.) No, rather I am afflicted with coworker kissing dreams. (The kind of dream where, should you see said coworker the very next day, you pray for memory block or turn red with utter embarrassment.)

Last night, while involved in a make out dream with my hot coworker, I was startled awake by profound guilt.

I told David, he laughed.

I should have prayed for the Sandman.

TRAFFIC HELL

Today I spent a total of 6 1/2hrs sitting in traffic.

7:30AM-10:30AM (HOME-WORK)
Weather conditions: Ice pellets and slick roads.

5:00-8:30PM (WORK-HOME)
Hwy Accident: Tractor Trailer roll over resulting in liquid oxygen spillage all West end Northbound routes JAMMED. 1hr to move 5km on Hwy 400.

Weather conditions: slippery, slushy streets.

No long bloggs today... I'm drained. I just wanted to commiserate over today's painful driving conditions with my fellow GTA drivers.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MIKE!

For your belated Birthday viewing pleasure! Happy 28th!

EMPLOYMENT ROLLERCOASTER

Returning to work on Monday, I failed to predict my adventures on the employment roller coaster.

The excitement of starting a new series with a familiar crew quickly dissipated with the news of an ACTRA strike.

The TV Series and Films that have not signed agreements to proceed with the Actor's union before the strike deadline are paralyzed. A few BIG Hollywood features have abandoned the city, in search of calmer waters. However, an olive branch has been extended to shows that have made it under the wire, such as the one I am working on, Actra offers CONTINUANCE LETTERS.

BUT.... and it's a big one:

"Canadian and U.S. producer associations have urged their members not to sign the continuance letters on offer from ACTRA. The letters promise producers no disruption by ACTRA picket lines if they guarantee performers a 5% wage increase.

John Barrack, chief negotiator for the Canadian Film and Television Production Assn., representing English-language Canadian producers, on Thursday said that ACTRA's continuance letters were "unlawful," and will provoke a legal battle in the event of an industry shutdown."

While most shows in production have chosen to sign the letter, regardless of it's legality. Our parent company has advised us against this action.

What does it all mean? Unemployment line waits with open arms.

However, at the eleventh hour... (yesterday, as we all prepared our good-bye speeches) with the realization that a production shut down for our show = BUDGET INCREASES, "The powers that be" have thrown caution to the wind and placed pen to paper.

We proceed with caution. Should the letters be deemed illegal in court, production of all major cinematic and television greatness in this province and possibly across the nation comes to an end.

Pending court date: January 24th.

********

A major silver lining in this whole mess: The short delay in our Production has afforded my dear friend Alison the time needed to join the show as our shiny new Assistant Production Coordinator.

(Please stand by while I dance around the room......)

The concept for this has taken months to engineer, with disappointment and finally with GREAT PAYOFF! (Always willing to go to the Mats for you Ali B.) I love it when a plan comes together.

LESS ABOUT YOU

Him: "You can't lay like that, you're choking me."

Me: "But I'm comfortable."

Him: "I'm not. Move over."

Me: "When are you going to learn, this marriage is less about you and more about me."

Did you know, recent scientific studies have found that sharing a bed makes men temporarily stupid.

125 ME

1. I was born in Saigon, a city that no longer exists
2. I am Buddhist by birth and by choice
3. I am the eldest of three siblings and the only girl
4. I’ve never lived alone
5. I am a writer, a director, and a voyeur (and a production Accountaant to pay the bills)
   
6. I like sleeping with my head under the covers
7. I occasionally feel like a sixteen year old and I never feel like a thirty-two year old
8. I met my husband in high school
9. I am poet like my mom and an essayist like my dad
10. I am the happiest when I am vacationing
11. I am an over thinker
12. In junior high, two friends and I made up boyfriends for ourselves... mine was called, Matt Preston
13. I backpacked through five European countries and one principality in two months when I was 22
14. Some days I have an overwhelming sense of fear and dread…but I think I hide it well with a smile
15. I am my grandma’s favorite
    
16. I have a tested I.Q of 143
17. I was a mean to boys who professed their love/infatuation to me in school
    
18. My husband and I sleep with separate blankets because I cocoon myself in my covers leaving very little for him... UPDATE (05/02/08): He refuse to let me have my own blanket, insisting that I learn to share.
    
19. I am 5'0 and take up 3/4 of the bed
20. I have very low tolerance for stupid people
21. My favourite flowers are Gardenias
22. I have very good work ethics, inherited from my mom
23. I own shoes that I don’t remember buying
24. I’ve been to a NEW KIDS concert… twice in one day
25. I typically enjoy the company of men or non-girly women
26. I sometimes cross that fine line between assertive and aggressive
27. I don’t shave my legs during the winter
28. I am afraid of dark water
29. I don’t like chocolate
30. I’ve do not drink coffee. The smell makes me nauseous. I drink tea, without sugar or milk
31. I love to read
32. I underline passages in books that inspire me
33. When I was younger I wanted to be a spy
    
34. I think my dog is a reincarnation of someone I knew
35. I’m always “fashionably” late
36. The first boy I ever frenched kissed was named Colin
37. House cleaning makes me angry
38. I love to laugh
39. I was school patrol captain in grade four and let the power go to my head
40. I dance in the shower
41. I enjoy fruity things: drinks, ice cream, men
42. I use to be a bank teller and would spy on the account activities of people I knew
43. Jasmine is my favorite scent
    
44. I think farts are funny
45. I am a perfectionist; I demand it in myself and in others around me
46. I have two deep dark secrets that I refuse to share
47. I wanted to name our dog, Pepper or Poet, but my husband named her Misha UPDATE (05/02/08): We adopted another dog, I named her POET!!!
    
48. I have Psychic dreams, I dreamed about my husband before I knew him
49. I am extremely calm under pressure
50. Barcelona and San Francisco are my two favourite cities
51. The lyrics, not the beat, dictate whether I like a song
52. I prefer savory to sweet
53. I prefer grape juice to wine
54. I hope to raise intellectually sharp-witted children
55. I hardly drink
56. When I drink, I prefer champagne and Vodka drinks, never beer
57. I secretly wished that I had a British accent
58. Manners matter to me, it's important to be polite to people
59. When I was fifteen, a member of the duo Bros kissed me and told me I was gorgeous (I have the picture to prove it)
60. I hate cheese fondue, but endured it for six Christmases with my in-laws, until my husband informed my mother in-law
61. I've shoplifted stickers when I was eight and got caught
62. I’ve never tried smoking (anything)
63. I think ladybugs are lucky
64. I’ve flown off my ten-speed bike scraping my face along a stranger’s driveway (I have the scars to prove it)
65. I’ve broken my right arm doing #64
66. I'm extremely superstitious
67. I could change a diaper at eight years old
68. People who play acoustic guitar and sing impress me
    
69. I carry a change purse
70. I worked for a day in a bagel shop and burnt all my fingers
71. I use to hide in my closet when I cried
72. The musical RENT forced me to enroll in film school instead of law school
73. My parents have finally forgiven me for not going to law school (even though their money was wasted on LSAT prep study and the Law school applications)
74. I talk very, very loudly when something matters to me
75. I am opinionated, and quite vocal about those opinions
76. I love a good love story
77. I didn’t cry when I got married, but my husband did
78. Photography was my first artistic love
79. I played the violin and the piano… I don't anymore
    
80. I have a weird phobia about washing lettuce
81. I wanted to be a Behavioral Scientist. Psychology, criminology, and sociology facinate me. I was a Psych major in first year University. I took two Criminology courses, where the most important thing I learned was to never call anyone a "goof" in jail... that word has dire consequences
    
82. I am a dreamer and a realist
83. I have a tattoo on my left ankle, I'd like another one on my right ankle
84. My favourite gemstone is a sapphire
85. I am an amateur gemologist; I think all women should have a basic knowledge of gems. My mother taught me how to evaluate diamonds; I taught her diamonds are a relatively common and worthless gem.
    
86. Tyler Hamilton was my first crush. I was six. I went to his house, knocked on the door and ran away
87. I always dream, and I always dream in colour
88. I wish I were fluent in seven languages (Spanish, French, German, Italian, Japanese). I am only fluent in two (English and Vietnamese) (I have basic comprehension of French and Spanish)
    
89. I am fascinated by etymology – word origins intrigue me
90. I enjoy learning
91. I'm a fast talker
92. I have exquisite (read expensive) taste
93. I know a little bit about a lot of things (trivial knowledge, my specialty)
    
94. Thunderstorms delight me
95. I hide from my elderly neighbour, who attempts to teach/speak to me in Spanish
96. When I am in between jobs, I go to my University Alma matre and audit classes (without the professor's knowledge)
97. Teleporting would be my first super power, duplication would be my second
    
98. I love eating soup, all kinds of soup
99. Ethan Hawke was my longest celebrity crush (age 13 to 29)
100. At nine, I rode my bike to my teacher's house and was disappointed by her lifestyle. I thought teachers lived glamorously
     
101. I eavesdrop on conversations around me
102. At night, I like looking into people's open window
103. I'd like bigger breasts, but am afraid of plastic surgery
104. My favorite specialty foods are raw oysters, lobster, crab legs, fois gras, artichokes, olives, avocados, rambutan, mangos and sweet potato
105. I am a humanitarian
106. I love dirty talk during sex
107. My favourite number is 25
108. I never turn down sushi
109. Inconsequential things I am good at: shopping, eating, baking cupcakes, navigating, silkscreening, whistling through a blade of grass, and flying kites
     
110. I believe in Karma
     
111. I love Grover from Seasame Street and Gonzo from The Muppets seeing them puts me heart at ease
112. I have extreme hostility towards Birkenstocks and Crocs
113. I have one earlobe pierced, the other one has closed. One day I'll be brave enough to re-pierce it.
114. I love garlic, raw and cooked
115. I think it's tragic that people are afraid to sing or dance, everyone should sing even if they are tone deaf and dance even if they don't have rhythm.
     
116. Toe sucking makes me cringe
117. I am petrified of rodents, especially rats
118. I am a great packer
119. Public toilets give me anxiety, I always hover over the bowl without touching anything and use my feet to flush
120. I change the buttons on my clothes for fun, interest and originality
121. I can spend hours skipping rocks
122. I enjoy road trips, I enjoy driving
     
123. I swear loads when I drive, I try not to swear elsewhere... I use kid appropriate profanity instead
124. I obsessively wear sunblock, I use nothing less than 30spf... I prefer 60spf. If it didn't look stupid, I'd carry a parasol
     
125. I can be brutally honest, don’t ask if you don’t want to know the truth
     

THEY'RE HANDS NOT WANDS

I woke up this morning intent on pounding out an outline for a short story I have swirling around my head… but the momentum seems to have faded. I fight with writer’s block.

I will my fingers to relay a stream of magical brilliance onto the keyboard… ...waiting… ... ...still waiting....

Nothing.

“WE'RE HANDS, NOT WANDS!!!” They shout at my disappointment.

I am mentally bruised and battered. Left in solitude to regenerate lost brain cells. I look to the dog for sympathy, but the only time that dog shows any interest in how I’m doing is when I break for a snack.

*BREAK*

I sit and eat my favorite ghetto dessert/meal, sugared butter toast, while staring at the blank page before me.

Nothing.

So in lieu of script writing, I do what comes natural: I eat and blog.

BLK PEPPER SOUP

Last night, hunger defeated sleep and insisted I stagger into the kitchen and concoct a "midnight snack" (literally).

In my daze, I foraged through the cabinets and found a can of tomato soup: easy, warm and satisfying. My culinary pursuit was moving along masterfully, until I heavy-handedly added the pepper (an equivalent of 3 heaping table spoons).

Flavour: Pungently spicy pepper with a hint of tomato

Verdict: Unpalatable

Lessons: Do not cook when groggy AND Do not attempt to eat culinary mistakes.

This meal provoked bizarre and disconcerting dreams about: 1.decaying tuna fish in my high school locker 2. Senior high school Lodge trip with eerie Stephen King sensation 3. Biding old high school mates farewell, carried out by an adult recognition that I will NEVER see these people again.

NOT INTERESTED

I'm in a list making mood.

On today's list: WORDS THAT I AM NOT PRETENTIOUS ENOUGH TO USE

tergiversation (tuhr-jiv-uhr-SAY-shuhn), n.
1. to change repeatedly one's attitude or opinions with respect to a cause, subject.
2. falsification by means of vague or ambiguous language.

Tergiversation comes from Latin tergiversatus, past participle of tergiversari, "to turn one's back, to shift," from tergum, "back" + versare, frequentative of vertere, "to turn." The verb form is tergiversate.

bloviate (BLOH-vee-ayt), intransitive v.
to speak or write at length in a pompous or boastful manner.

fecund (FEE-kuhnd; FEK-uhnd), adj.
1. Capable of producing offspring or vegetation; fruitful; prolific.
2. Intellectually productive or inventive.

Fecund comes from Latin fecundus, "fruitful, prolific." The noun form is fecundity.

tintinnabulation (tin-tih-nab-yuh-LAY-shuhn), n.
a tinkling sound, as of a bell or bells.

diaphanous (dy-AF-uh-nuhs), adj.
1. Of such fine texture as to allow light to pass through; translucent or transparent.
2. Vague; insubstantial.

Diaphanous ultimately derives from Greek diaphanes, "showing through," from diaphainein, "to show through, to be transparent," from dia-, "though" + phainein, "to show, to appear." It is related to phantom, something apparently sensed but having no physical reality.

lissom (LISS-uhm), adj. (also lissome)
1. Limber; supple; flexible.
2. Light and quick in action; nimble; agile; active.

punctilio (punk-TIL-ee-oh), n.
1. A fine point of exactness in conduct, ceremony, or procedure.
2. Strictness or exactness in the observance of formalities; as, "the punctilios of a public ceremony."

Punctilio comes from Obsolete Italian punctiglio, from Spanish puntillo, diminutive of punto, "point," from Latin punctum, from pungere, "to prick."

supernumerary (soo-puhr-NOO-muh-rair-ee; -NYOO-), n.
1. A supernumerary person or thing.
2. An actor without a speaking part, as a walk-on or an extra in a crowd scene.

adj.
1. Exceeding the stated, standard, or prescribed number.
2. Exceeding what is necessary or desired; superfluous.

Supernumerary is from Latin supernumerarius, from super, "over" + numerus, "number."

NEW YEAR'S CHALLENGE

A. Learn to speak pirate
B. Learn rest of the lyrics to Auld Lang Syne
C. Learn to play air guitar, air drums air saxaphone and air cello
D. Learn to tap shuffle

E. Start all conversations with double entendre
F. Start a conga line
G. Start maneuvering downtown through underground passages only
H. Start adding Egg Nog to all recipes
I. Start an angry mob
J. Start awkward moments

K. Be Guitar Hero II champion (after perfecting art of air guitar)
L. Be friends with bran
M. Be a one woman band
N. Be cool with knowledge that parents still have romantic nights
O. Be an honest liar.... umm... storyteller.
P. Be a bigger smart-ass

LOOKING FIFTY AT SIXTY

My Mother, the New Year's Baby! Born six decades ago on January 1st and still looks youthful and marvelous.

Happy Birthday Mamacita!

Thank you for the designer genes. (YES, it does always have to be about me... my blog, my thoughts, my life!) :p