FEEL LIKE DANCING?

On a night out with the Girls, heading downtown, we were going south for some SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY. We, a DANCING QUEEN, a WILD THING, and a NAUGHTY GIRL, were ready to have some GOOD TIMES, so we called up our INFORMER and asked him, “WHERE’S THE PARTY AT?”

“Head into FUNKYTOWN”, He instructed, “You’re sure to have a WILD NIGHT, IN DA CLUB.”

WE LIKE TO PARTY, so we agreed to CHECK UP ON IT and HUNG UP. We filled the car with GASOLINA and headed off with a roar.

On our short road trip, we took a wrong turn. I’m not sure where we went wrong. Perhaps it waasss a right turn past the LONDON BRIDGES and not a left. We realized that we were in trouble when we passed a graffiti sign, which read: WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE.

Suddenly, I DON’T FEEL LIKE DANCING.

We pulled over, unaware of the danger surrounding us, I’m talking about the kind of danger that was GONNA MAKE YOU SWEAT.

The street was teaming with PROMISCUOUS girls. One of these girls approached our car. BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM! Her DIRRTY, CRAZY bony hands slammed on the window. She told us that she was, THE ROCKAFELLER SKANK, and this was her territory. “I ain’t looking for no more girls, especially a NASTY GIRL like you, so move.”

We were insulted and WE’RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT.

"Oh, IT’S GOING DOWN, ‘cause I am definitely a HOLLABACK GIRL." I got out of the car, mustered up the RED NECK WOMAN in me, shouted, “MOVE THIS,” and took a swing at her. She hit the ground hard, I won.

However, I didn’t see her sidekick come at me from the behind. Fortunately for me, my friends did. As they demonstrated their ass-kicking ability, and ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST. Looking around we knew that we would soon be out numbered, so we BUST A MOVE and speed off, RIDIN’ DIRTY, still determined to not let that showdown be our LAST DANCE.

We FINALLY navigated our way towards Funkytown and into the club.

Some might ask if it was worth the trauma, just to express your L.O.V.E. for dancing.

I say, there are times in your life when, GROOVE IS IN THE HEART and YOU HAVE TO FIGHT FOR YOUR RIGHT (TO PARTY).